Inverted Gratitude

For those things that even the most thankful take for granted.
For those things that the chief of sinners could hardly forget.
For those things too difficult to word in prayer.

That your friends don't see you like this.

That couples can't feel your raging jealousy of them.

That sometimes God lets you sleep and will pardon even this mortal sin.

That you avoided a time of trial today -- but that tomorrow will surely bring your destiny.

That your wretchedness today will be followed by another fifty years of life and not end this hour.

That sometimes God leaves you alone -- but is so incorrigible that you still wind up getting what you don't deserve.

That the full moon catches you before you go crazy.

That you are powerless.

That you are a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal -- at least you know who you are.

That you have failed greatly, and that you may fail yet even more spectacularly.

That your affliction is too invigorating to be a depression.

That people do not take too close an interest in you.

That one day the money will run out.

That you will always find a way to struggle.

That you are hardly missed -- the suffering is only your own, and knowing that is a consolation.

That, while you have buried your one and only talent, some fool is dropping two more at your feet.

That, despite your best efforts, your secrets have been betrayed, some of them by your own conniving.

That you are inept enough to fail to sin small but not so incompetent as to avoid sinning big.

That the people you hate to love, love you -- and the people you love hate you in return.

That no one hangs on to every word you say.

That, to your dawning horror, more people every day hang on every thing you do.

That, when you rise, you immediately realize you have fallen.

That, after all, your concupiscence is really rather mild. That's the good news, considering that you consent to every bent desire you have.

That, in spite of your concupiscence, God will console your suffering soul with an intensification of desire.

That God is not, in fact, the kind of God who intervenes to prevent you from doing evil to others; that God lets you do what you will. Suspending the laws of creation -- that would be the greatest evil.

That you realize every now and then that you have acted as if you could suspend the laws of creation.

That one day your friends will see you like this.