Solitary Thoughts

"Alone at last." No, hardly last. It has been first, second, and always next. You think this is the way to holy solitude?

Go away only if you bring the world with you. Otherwise, stay where you are and drop everything.

There you go again, hiding your face from the strangers, the neighbors, and even your housemates. At this pace, they will never know you. What if salvation depends on saying hello? Or being said hello to?

When you sit in your room by yourself, eat by yourself, work by yourself, and sleep by yourself, you bring no one closer to solitude. Even the monks have each other. Even the hermits have the sun and the moon and the earth and all its creatures. Thank God it is impossible for you to dream by yourself. The communion of saints, living and glorious, haunts you from depths below your being and brings you closer to solitude.

From behind the door in the room where you have prayed, you wait until the people are gone, and then you go. And you have the nerve to look down upon honest atheists?

Stop thinking about the people you do not love: look at them. And stop looking at the people you watch thoughtlessly: you love them falsely.

You crave attention? Go tell it to the person you want least to see.

You survey your spacious life with satisfaction, as if congratulations were in order, as if you were proud of the achievement: getting yourself enough room to breathe. Sinner, repent! We all must breathe that same air.

The next time someone shows an interest in you that awakens in you a longing far out of proportion to that interest, you will know what it feels like for God to receive your prayer.