Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Gift of Desperation

Used to be so happy, why, I couldn't tell the time
We never asked the reason or how the meter rhymed
We ate and drank and fit each other till we woke again
A hint of desperation clued us even then.

Something in the way you walked, it talked to me with force
Something else in how you smiled -- that smile, it wasn't yours
It wasn't mine, oh mercy, to restore your soul to you
A spell of desperation left me wandering, too.

Saw you at the window, oh, you've lost your lucky star
Wondered how you knew the one when billions there are
Things were hidden from you even when you set to see
And a wave of desperation carried you to me.

Offered, I received you, who were my portion and my cup
Took your name upon my lips and turned the bottoms up
Then we saw the altar -- we had to turn away
From the smell of desperation, the odor of decay.

We're ready to be broken, and you know you wish we would
Still you don't believe it would do us any good
The wretched in perdition got nothin' on us two
It's the hell of desperation, makes living hard to do.

Everybody's drifting, goin' back to what they did
They got a glimpse of glory, then they ran and hid
You can't avoid temptation, don't try and hold your breath
It's the sting of desperation before the sting of death.

Sometimes I gotta wonder, where we gonna go
Yearning for a lover is the only thing I know
What makes the lover lovely is what I'm looking for
And the pangs of desperation make me want it more.

Baby, please forgive me, see, I guess it wasn't you
But something beneath that our shivers of desire pointed to
Understand, it has to be the end of the affair
I took a vow of desperation and married my despair.

Well the heavens are a-rainin', a wind is on the move
The city sends to sleep a son with something left to prove
Baby, when you find out you got nothin' left to be
That's the gift of desperation sent to you and me.


Anonymous said...

Only one born of full moon could find the world so empty.

Anonymous said...

Except when it is full.

Anthony Zuba said...

I just looked up the lunar calendar for 1977, and lo and behold, I was born during a full moon. Wow. That's a cool thing to know.

I do not believe the world is empty. To quote the well-known Gerard Manley Hopkins, "The world is charged with the grandeur of God." But the way we relate to this wonderful world and all its people is usually shallow, sometimes sterile, often ungrateful, and ultimately unfulfilling. The relationships are empty. The world is not.

What are you trying to tell me, Anonymous?

Anonymous said...

Very good point. Go out and cultivate meaningful relationships with the people around you. The world is full of such possibilities. Try to make the most of it while you are here. Forget about this gift of desperation. Enjoy the gift of relationships around you, and grow them well.

Anthony Zuba said...

I'd be ungrateful if I didn't appreciate what the "gift of desperation" has done for me. Without it, I would not be conscious of the need for right relationships, life-giving relationships, meaningful relationships, with God and people. This gift has opened my eyes, made me able, and helped me grow other gifts. The gift of desperation is a good thing, and I refuse to forget it.

We agree on what is to be done. But as we can see, you take issue with my blues theology....

Anthony Zuba said...

... but whether we agree or disagree, I hope you keep your epigrammatic comments coming, Anonymous.